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‘I love this record baby but I can’t see straight anymore’ I scream towards no-one imparticular. Drinking straws fly in all directions as I violently thrust in my make shift Gaga-esq dress constructed from drinking paraphernalia. As tonight is Halloween, I thought it only appropriate I pay homage to the woman who provides the soundtrack to my life.
Her lyrics cut close to home. We all want to be Beautiful, Dirty, Rich ‘Our hair is perfect while were all getting shit wrecked’. Tonight my hair isn’t so perfect. The platinum wig makes me look like I have an afghan puppy attached to my scalp, and it starts to slide off as I jiggle to the beat. However all woe’s are forgotten as Poker Face is pumped through the speakers. With a microphone in one hand and a lavender teacup in the other I begin swinging both objects haphazardly above my head.
Then something dawns on me. I turn to my friends Michael Jackson and Princes Leah. ‘I hate to end a night like this but, where are my keys I’ve lost my phone?’
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